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4 Steps to Finding Your Next Mentor

I’m gonna spit some truth at you. You may not agree and you may even be offended, but that’s ok. Sometimes our inability to be cut buffers the growth we could experience. Like the pruning of a plant, I want to offer you the same cruel luxury. The shears of truth.

You are not smart, strong, brave or creative enough to make it in this world alone.

I know, it hurts. But in the iconic words of Christ, “The truth shall set you free.”

My Encounter with Truth

It was my junior year of college when I was gutted allowing years of egotistical self-confidence to pour out of me. I had just written a 20-page paper on an analysis of some Old Testament Jewish traditions. My paper was filled with the fluffy pontificating of my 21-year-old self. Such magnificent smelly fluff I had written, I was sure my professor was going to commend me. The happenings that ensued were far from my self-percieved reality.

I entered my professors office to receive my paper and my stellar grade. He beckoned me to sit in the chair opposite himself. Sitting, I watched him put my paper down and remove his glasses. The words that released from his mouth were not the words of encouragement or were they expectant. He said, “Hunter, you’re an idiot. You talk and talk, but everyone has already said this stuff before. Stop thinking you’re so smart, there are much smarter people who have gone before you. Use them.” I was cut. I didn’t know what to say to such an accusation. I left his office, with my “C” paper, a head full of conflicting thoughts and a bewildered disposition.

Looking back I have come to the conclusion I don’t want to go through life a blinded imbecile. Only to wake up decades from now realizing all that self-empowerment propaganda was really just heaping piles of crap. Nor do I want you to experience the same. Save yourself the time and long-term disappointment. Now, prepare yourself to receive the simple truth my student debt afforded me:

You are most likely not as clever as you think.

Our Need for Wise Adventurers

You have gifts and skills. Your heart is hopefully laden with vision and passion. While those will get you far there will come a time when failure strikes when the weight of life slowly squeezes the passion out of your dreams. In those moments more than ever we could all use the whisperings of the battle-hardened veterans who have gone before us. I am talking about mentors.

A mentor is anyone who can help you take a step towards something based on their own journey and wisdom. You can find these relationships everywhere and in anyone. Whether a one-time encounter or a daily relationship with someone. These relationships ultimately help to propel us on a path towards our ultimate purpose and vision.

Whether you have a mentor or not. The truth is you could always have more.

Finding Your Next Mentor

1. Find one person who you think has something you don’t.
Think of one person who you think could offer advice to your life, passion, or struggles. It helps if you know them, but feel free to chase the stars. Just don’t get upset if they don’t respond and you get burned.
2. Think of one question.
With all the happenings in the world, we often don’t think people have time for us. The reality is that’s not far from the truth, but you should never say no for someone. This method will allow them to engage you on their own terms and time.
Think of one question you want to ask this person. It could be as generic, but gleaning as, “What’s one book you recommend I read?” Or you can make it specific to a real-life dilemma you need advice on. Now, Email them this question.
3. What to do with the answer?
When they respond to your question take the time to think on it. Let it teach and guide you. If you find yourself disagreeing remember to, “Eat the chicken and toss the bones.” As in, take what you want from what they offer. Try, read or implement what they shared with you. Remember they are the veterans.
4. Follow up
The most important piece of all of this is to follow up. Reply to them, thank them and share how their advice has bettered your life. This step is important because it will show the person you are committed and desire growth. This could ultimately lead you to a more consistent and engaged mentor.

 

I promise if you try this you will be surprised at the success and wisdom it yields. People are always looking for an opportunity to share what they have learned. We all want to make an impact in those around us and by partnering with those who have gone before us that want can become a reality.

That moment with my professor has never left me. The idea that there have been others who have gone before me. Who have forged a path and procured wisdom I have never tasted. This is not to say you shouldn’t dream dreams or run after greatness. Let this speak to the surging passion within you and allow you to harness it for the adventure ahead. Let this lead you to find others to encourage, cut and guide you. For a powerful steed is only as useful as the reins set upon it.

 

I challenge you to try this and comment what happened. Can’t wait to hear your stories. 

The Art of Escape: Pursuing Passion

My own worst enemy is a strange phrase. Shouldn’t I want success for myself? Or is there a part of me that needs to die.

The Waiting Place 

I previously spoke of the waiting place in my last blog. It is possible for all of us to find our way there, as we become captivated by the grind and urgent needs of life. Needs that unfortunately and inevitably speak to us louder than the whispers of our heart. This can happen to us over years, months or even short seasons. Seasons where the pressures of life, responsibilities and needs drown us in an ocean. A raging ocean of false fulfillment based on our achievements rather than our passions.  When we find ourselves forced into that situation the result is that our passions become less important and we choose to make them bow to the slave master of urgent needs. In many cases, those heart whispers once vibrant and joy-filled find themselves put away to collect dust.

Meanwhile, the oppressive voices of this “achievement” based, fulfillment lifestyle take over. Many us will silence the heart altogether. We do this in order to function, but we end up crippling ourselves. This crippling affects the depths of who we are. We may find ourselves successful even somewhat happy, but if we explore the depths of our hearts we may just stumble upon the worst thing of all, A LIFE OF REGRET!

Personal Experience

I was finishing off some classes at Liberty University when I received my first salaried job. It was simple, flexible and paid a lot more than I ever thought possible. Though the thought of that salary being excessive was quickly diminished, which, looking back is quite comical contrasted on what I make now. And yet I still possess a desire for more.

In that, I only prove human nature and our need for more. Make more, eat more, have more, go faster, jump higher, you name it I’ll rename it and make it better. Strangely enough, I believe there’s a connection here. A primary wound to the passionless life is that you are constantly in want of something to fill you. So, you try anything, anywhere until finally you lay down a defeated, depressed and unresolved creature. Anyway, I digress.

I had landed a job for Liberty Online. Basically, I spent my 8 hour days at a desk, on the phone, signing up a student for classes and listening to their complaints. There were low expectations and a great opportunity for salary raises and advancement. All you had to do was meet the quota of calls fielded, thus, lowering wait times and upping overall productivity.

Enter my passion.

My passion is to help awaken others to their passions and give them permission to engage them while overcoming the obstacles along the way. In short I’m about … LIFE CHANGE.

The problem I ran into at my job was I cared too much. Instead of being efficient I became relational and the conclusion was that I talked to people way too long. It didn’t sit well with my soul that someone would call needing direction and guidance, to only be met with, “Well we could move you to a different class. Other than that you are on you own.” In my heart, all I could hear was that there were REAL people with REAL problems in need of some REAL assistance. So I gave it. Needless to say, no advancements, no raises and with the constant nagging of my boss about my call times I grew unsatisfied.

The Choice

I had to make a choice. I could either quit or kill the whispers, the fiery rumblings of my soul. In doing so, I would become more productive, make more money and management would like me, but at what cost.

So … I quit.

John Wesley was a Christian pastor and theologian born out of the tail end of the reformation. The Protestant denominational movement of Methodism was a direct product of his ministry. Shout out to all the Methodists. John Wesley was a winner of souls. He believed in his mission as a Christian to reach and save the lost as his ultimate passion. No one and nothing would get in his way.

The harsh reality is that not all “Christian” churches or religious institutions of today are created equal. While many hold to the doctrines and teachings of their youth. A good number of them are filled with needless programs and traditions that do not line up with their original mission or passion. I can imagine John Wesley visiting them today and letting them know in quite a blunt way that while their intentions are good they have lost their passion.

“You have one business on earth – to save souls.”

-John Wesley

Inhibitors

You see the reality is that in order to “stay on passion” we don’t have to go on a life wide spring cleaning. Throwing out everything or anything that doesn’t line up. It’s not about making everything in my life match my passion, otherwise, I’d get divorced, sell off my kid, and leave town traveling the world. But that would be ludicrous. You see I love my wife, marvel at my son and I possess a job that not only meets my needs but allows me to channel what I believe I’ve been made for. So the question is:

“Is what you’re currently doing adding to or inhibiting your passion?”

In other words, every church could and should look different based on the leader and their culture, but if they want the John Wesley (and Hunter Floyd) Passion Stamp of Approval. Saving souls has to be their priority.

First Step 

You have to be willing to  make changes. Again, your entire life doesn’t need to be reworked and revamped. You don’t need to have a rebirthing per say, but if there is a part of it and, odds are there is, that directly inhibits your ability to live out your passion. KILL IT.

One night recently I found myself incapable of sleep. So naturally, I turned on Netflix and began the journey to find something that would nourish my watching needs. I settled for a good Kung-Fu movie. In the twilight hours, I could be seen watching Bruce Lee annihilate foes while occasionally playing games on my phone.

Out of nowhere a dilemma began to form in my head. As I watched probably the highest regarded martial artist of all time. I instantly thought about how his life ended at the young age of 33. What movies could have been? What impact could he have made on others? Yet his life was cut short only six years my senior! Here I was having no legacy, no impact, no martial art skills and if I were to die now would it even matter. Would my life have made a difference? Then the quiet, true whisper of my heart broke through. “What are you doing? You have been created for so much more. Why are you wasting your time?”

I don’t think movies are bad nor late night escapades, but there are times when we could capture those moments for something greater. Or to propel ourselves even further.

For some of us it’s career changes. For others, it may be trivial things that simply help to augment our impact. So at that moment I answered my question,

“Is what you’re currently doing adding to or inhibiting your passion?”

The decisions I made were simple but effective.

I set a bedtime. Sleep is so important. Not only to function but to maintain habits and lifestyle.

I threw out the games. Instead, I use the time to read, pray, think, connect with my wife, or write.

For the most part, I have already made massive changes in my life in order to make my passion pursuable.  I constantly investigate and seek to sacrifice the minor things to make sure I’m making the impact I was meant for. Some of you have a lot farther to go and the discovery may yield a much greater sacrifice resulting in hardship and challenge. If that scares you, makes you anxious and overwhelms you, good. This is not something to be taken lightly. Your life is short and growing shorter by the day.

My challenge to you is to place yourself in a position that allows you to use your passion. That’s the first step. Letting it free. Letting it burn for all to see. Because when that happens people WILL acknowledge and agree that you were born for it. You never know, you may even lead others to experience the same.

“Catch on fire and others will love to come watch you burn.”

-John Wesley

 

What have you sacrificed to pursue your passion?

 

Can you really make a difference?

What can I say? I have always felt different. That is, about as different as everyone else believes they are.

The Crisis

It’s a sobering truth to learn that despite the “believe in yourself” messages and my highly inflated ego I will probably never transpire to greatness. Rather than fancy myself a poet, dreamer and world-changer, I am really just doomed to be…normal. Gross, I know, but nevertheless, my 27 year old mid-life crisis self feels it must swallow this cold, hard truth. Brimming with dreams and adventurous desires that only seem to manifest in a sort of phantom stomach knot called angst. I grab that burden and put it to death. I have put aside the “childish” passions of my millennial youth, in order, to take hold of the finer things in life. Such fine things are these passionless career paths, 401Ks and long hours away from my family for the sake of this “American Dream.”

And then like most cheesy stories, the strangest thing happened…

Now I have this son and at the age of 14 months he doesn’t have time for such quandaries as mine, well, as far as I know. Instead his days are filled with following his innermost passions: eating, pooping, veggie-tales and waking me up for no reason at the most ungodly hours.His strangest pursuit of all is his game of bringing me books to read, only to trot away a second later. I find myself alone stranded in the strange depths of childhood literature. It was a time just as this my son of all creatures thrust wisdom into my lap. Wisdom written by non other than the great Dr. Seuss.

The Call

What I found sitting in my lap was no mere book, but rather an invitation. I didn’t see it all at once, but as I read line by line, rhyme by rhyme the clearer it became. Clarity that I had stumbled on something divined just for me. With each turn of the page the birth pangs of passion slowly resurrected bringing waves of confusion and frustration to my newly “adult” self. Then as I continued to turn, my eyes scanning the words, as my brain slowly processed them. This activity resulted in shocks of electric truth zapping my very soul. I was thankful though, for such a shock as this. As I would never be the same.

You can get so confused

that you’ll start in a race

down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace

and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,

headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.

-Dr. Seuss (Oh, The Places You’ll Go!)

The Waiting Place

I look around this world and I see people shackled by their routine and inability to escape it. A routine that tells them to work menial jobs to produce means that neither lead to fulfillment or true life. I see generations of people in bondage to apathy. They have no dream nor vision. They are just waiting. Waiting their turn in the line of life to live, work, and die. Content to live out an existence void of passion and the desire for impact. I don’t want to be there. I don’t want to wait in such a place and I bet if you were honest with yourself. You wouldn’t want to either.

But Why?

The question I ask myself is, “why?” Why do we allow ourselves to stay in a place of cyclical waiting. Slowly wasting away under the pretense that for some reason this is what we have to do. Why do we become so comfortable with not living out our full potential.

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go” was actually a book my father used to read to me as a child. Remembering this I took it upon myself to see if my old man could shine any light as to why people remain in a cycle of waiting, never moving on. What my father told me was my “Eureka!” moment.

He said, “Son, the reason people don’t leave the waiting place, is because they are waiting for permission to leave. They need someone to tell them it’s ok too. They need someone to inspire them.”

Permission to Leave…and Pursue your Passion! 

This is the first of hopefully many posts on this blog. I have created this blog, not because I am a good writer or even enjoy writing, because I’m not and I don’t. Nor do I labor over this in order to ultimately be heralded for some great revelation. I simply want the chance to inspire. I want the opportunity to invite people into something greater, something they were made for. I believe in childhood passions, crazy dreams and mountainous visions. I believe that you posses them and though they may be quiet and have faded from sight. They are crying out to be found. Your heart wants you to uncover that something worth giving everything for.

My name is Hunter Floyd and I give you the permission to leave the waiting and pursue your passion.

 

I would love to know what you are passionate about. Please comment about what you have given yourself permission to pursue.